I was diagnosed with PCOS when I was 14 and I’m now 23 years old. Considering the fact that I was only 14 at the time and thought not having my period was awesome and didn’t care about the whole infertility thing, I didn’t put much stock into my doctor’s diagnosis.
However, I did go on progesterone because my doctor promised it would make the facial hair less noticeable and my acne would clear up. After a couple months of refilling my prescription, I decided that the 35 dollars a month was a bit too much and ended up going on Yasmin instead.
It helped me lose weight in addition to exercise (dance classes at school) but it was making me incredibly moody and so I stopped taking it after senior year of high school.
A couple years go by and I start packing on the pounds eating the same things I ate before but not getting the same amount of exercise and having out of control hormones. Now, I’ve never been a thin person (I’m 5’9” and weighed about 170 pounds in high school), but I’ve never had trouble taking off weight, it just seems that I’m a little more sensitive to putting it on.
I had gotten up to 240 pounds and was watching Oprah one afternoon, it was a special on heart disease being the number one killer of women. It had such a profound effect on me (I have an obsessive personality) that I became fearful of everything I was eating. At the same time, I decided to go back on birth control pills, this time getting them free from Planned Parenthood and 12 packs at a time so I had no excuse not to take them. The pounds just melted off and soon I was obsessed with the numbers on the scale, weighing myself constantly and feeling good every time the numbers got smaller.
I went from 240 to 220 to 200….I felt horribly guilty after eating and so I would force myself to throw up in my bedroom with the music turned up so no one would know. I’d go out to dinner with friends then excuse myself to the bathroom to throw up the salad I just ate because I felt guilty for not having the strength to not eat it. Everyone complimented me on my weight loss and men who wouldn’t have given me the time of day when I was 240 pounds were now interested in me at 150 pounds.
I liked the attention I was getting and not to mention all the cute clothes I could fit into, so I decided to take things a step further and try Orlistat, an over the counter weight loss medication. Soon I was taking up to six pills with a single meal.
I was also taking laxatives and diuretics every time I saw the number on the scale creep up. I felt completely horrible, I knew what I was doing wasn’t normal and I wanted to stop.
I’ve been living in Atlantic Canada for almost a year now with my boyfriend. We met about two years ago online though a webcam hosting site. He’s absolutely amazing to me and inspires me every day to make the right choices. Although when I look in the mirror I have a very distorted view of myself, he sees me as beautiful.
Even though I’ve put on 10 pounds after starting to eat normally, I feel I’m ready to go back on a diet and do it the right way this time. I’ve since started taking Metformin and I’m exercising daily doing cardio and light weight training and watching my carbs. I’ve lost 5 pounds so far and I’m hoping to get to my goal weight of 130 pounds.
I joined this site recently because I don’t know anyone here I can talk to about PCOS and all the emotional ups and downs that come with it. Thanks for reading my story. I’ll keep you posted!
Want to connect with me? My name is Nan2010 on the SoulCysters Message Board.