I am having these ups and downs more so lately than ever. One minute I feel fine about having PCOS and the thought that it is what it is and that I may not ever have my own biological baby.

But then I really start to think about it and see friends and other women with babies and it breaks my heart. I want what they have. Then I feel angry when I see a mother shouting at her child for misbehaving. I was a nanny for a 2 1/2 yr and a new born, so I am fully aware of the stressful moments kids can cause, and I have two step-boys who are teenagers.

I just could not imagine yelling at anyone is that manner, especially a child. I try my best not to dwell on it all, God has a plan, I just wish I have a hint of what it was. My mood lately has been depression and feelng defeated. What does this all mean…I feel lost in translation between what I am told, what I feel and reality.

Want to connect with me? My name is lbrash13 on the SoulCysters Message Board.