Suicidal With PCOS

HELLO LADIES…

I want to start by telling you a little about me… I’m a 30 year old woman, married and I have a 5 year old girl…

It all started with my first period, back when I was 11 years old, that’s when my life changed… I had irregular periods, and when I did have them the pain was horrible and they were long and HEAVY. My mom took me to the pediatrician who told her my hormones were out of balance, but continue to tell her “it’s only normal, that’s what teenagers have to go thru” they also did an ultrasound and saw a shadow around my uterus, they said that was the cause of my pain, I was just about to get my period and some girls just exaggerate (I was shocked) I knew the pain I was feeling and my mom knew how heavy my periods were (every1 could see)

I grew up active, exercising pretty much daily… As I became an adult my free time for exercise was limited, and as a consequence I put on some weight ( I thought I liked this, before I just didn’t have curves) the bad thing is the pain I was now use to, got progressively worse, every now and than it would get so bad, that I would be crying (sometimes screaming) curled up in a ball, unable to make it better…

At 23 I married my now husband, whom I told since the beginning my desire to be a mother and my fear of not being able to. We started trying right away, with no luck, I was so depressed my worse fear was becoming a reality, I became obsessed with the gym and managed to lose some weight, by the tenth month of our marriage I had been taking prenatal vitamins for a while was eating right and exercising a lot. Right before our 1st anniversary I found out I was pregnant, I couldn’t believe it…

It wast he best thing ever up till the 5th month when I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes and high blood pressure, I was horrified I’d lose what I had been wanting for so long…

Anyway, after many complications she made it and she is perfect…

After the delivery it all went down hill… I didn’t have energy for anything, new symptoms showed up while old ones resurfaced… I was the happiest except for PMS… over the next 2 years I gained weight without even noticing and as I did my PMS started earlier and earlier…

All the doctors I went to said some women hurt more when they gain weight, so after so many doctors saying the same thing and not being able to regain my energy and lose weight on my own, and having periods as long as 21 days (HEAVY periods) I decided to go to a weigh loss clinic… to make long story short I was told Thyroid levels were low and one thing led to another and after crying my heart out to a doctor I was finally on my way to recovery (or so I thought) on July 07 I was diagnosed with PCOS, Endometriosis, retrograde bleeding (that’s the “shadow” they saw in my earlier ultrasound) my endometrium get so thick every month that blood goes thru my fallopian tubes and into my abdominal cavity…

Over the last months I found out I have High insulin, IR, my ovaries are covered with cysts, I’ve been on a temporary induced menopause, was taking 2000 mg Fortamet (metformin) have cysts on my thyroid on top of hypothyroidism, and on Monday I had a c t scan and was told I have a significant fatty liver… I’m just at the end of my rope, I truly can take no more…

I’m sorry it was so long, my husband is supportive, but I’m not sure he or anyone else understands, I just want to cry my eyes out. I’m thankful I have a daughter, I love her with all my heart, it just hurts too much when she says “Mommy why are you always so sick?”

Thank you all for being here…

Want to connect with me? My name is Gidelar on the SoulCysters Message Board.

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