Hello ladies

it has been so long since I was able to connect with you all – so much has happened! The last time I was here was May 13! This is my story of our problem pregnancy – please take caution when reading if you are easily discouraged about being pregnant.

Dh and I tried for 3 yrs to get pg- with no luck. We took clomid and got pg on the first round of 50mg! We were so excited! We then learned we were to have twins! A boy and a girl! I was posting all of these things here at the time they took place. My due date was set at Sept 21- but we expected to come early. Everything was going great- except for the awful morning sickness I had – all day long- you guys gave great advice and support here as well.

I was at 20 weeks and a few days when it all fell apart. It was a Friday night when I first noticed a few drops of wetness in my underwear- I got out my books and read that somtimes women leak tiny amounts of urine while pg. Sat and Sun were the same sometimes I could feel a wetness sometimes not- by Monday morning it was a litte heavier so

I called my dr he said come in and he would see me right away- so my mom and I drove the 45 to the dr. He was going to do an exam- he began to inset the speculum and he stopped and said I can see your membranes bulging. He said he wanted me at the hospital immediately – he said it would be faster in my own car than an ambulance- we were only a block from the hospital.

When I got to the er there was a nurse waiting in the parking lot for me with a wheel chair- we flew to labor and delivery where there were a team of nurses waiting in a whirl wind they had me hooked to ivs and monitors – my head was lowered as low as it would go – I was practically standing on my head. They were hoping that the membranes would go back up.

I stayed this way for 3 days. On day 3 I woke up in the middle of the night and felt a weird sensation – my water had broke- I lost my baby girl. She just slid right out- never a pain or contraction or a push-nothing. I was only 21 weeks to the day- she was far too tiny to save. We held her – she lived for 3 hours. We named her Samantha Belle. She weighed only 10 ounces and was 9 1/2 inches long.

The date was May 16. They thought our little boy would follow- but he didn’t. When I was 23 and 4 days they rushed me to a much larger hospital to have a cercloge (sp?) it is a surgical procedure to stitch the cervix closed. There was a good chance of this causing me to loose him during the procedure- but it worked.

So I was still in the hospital still on bed rest – I wasn’t even allowed up to use the restroom – I had to use the bed pan. I went in to labor several times where they had to take me to l&d and give me a med called magnesium to stop the labor- it was terrible I would get so sick and throw up so much.

Then they decided to put a small plastic needle port type thing in my thigh that would give me a continous small dose of a labor stopping med. It worked for a while. I was now able to atleast get up and use the bathroom and they allowed me a shower- after 3 weeks of not ever being out of bed and only a few sponge baths it was the best shower I had ever felt! But the meds no longer worked my labor had grown “immune” to the meds- the dr decided my body had had enough.

So when I was only 24 weeks and 4 days the stiches were removed and our baby boy came only 30 minutes later.The date was June 6 at 7:29 am. We named him Shawn Calvin. He weighed only 1 lb 2 ounces. He was 12 1/4 inches long. He was given only a 50/50 chance or survival. We were terrified! We chose for them to do everything possible – until the baby is 25 weeks it is the parents choice if they want any intervention or live saving help.

After 27 days in the hospital I was released. Our baby boy is now alomst 4 months old on the 6th he will be. He weighes 6 lbs 15 oz and is 18 3/4inches long. He is still in the hospital but is doing well. I go see him everyday-it is about 1 1/2 hours from my house – but I have yet to miss a day. We have had terrible days when we weren’t sure if he would make it and we have had wonderful days! I get to hold hi everyday- and I have been able to breast feed him once.

He is so beautiful! We are still not sure of when he will be able to come home- but we know he will. The dr told me today “soon”.I am so sad we have lost our baby girl and that he lost his twin- but we are so very thankful for him. I wasn’t able to go to Samantha’s funeral I was still in the hospital but we have chosen a pink granite heart headstone for her that says on the bottom ” Now I lay me down to sleep” and that is how I will always remember her- peacefully asleep.

I know this was long – thank you so much for giving this time and place to share – it is such a help to me. Our lives will never be the same – we can only continue to thank God for our miracle baby boy! I could write so much more- there are so many details I would love to share – but I will stop at this for now.

Thanks again.

Want to connect with me? My name is NAME on the SoulCysters Message Board.