My name is Krista, I am 28 years old and was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome in March of 2000.
I had been showing signs for years before that, but was afraid to see a Doctor about it. I really truely thought that i was the only one. I thought I was a freak, that i must have done something truely awful and this was my punishment. I hit puberty early, at about age 9, in fact I remember that the summer between grades 3 and 4 I had packed on nearly 40 lbs.
I had my first period at 12, it was horrible, heavy and very painful. They were never very regular after that, but my mom said that they aren’t when you are just starting, so I didn’t worry about it. By the time I was in grade 12 I weighed 180lbs, I am 5’0″. And the first hairs were starting to show on my chin.
I took my older brother to grad. No guys would go with me, although I had a lot of ‘friends’. I had my first real boyfriend when I was 21, but he was ashamed to be seen with me and broke up with me 8 months later. My periods were coming less and less often, and I was shaving my face every morning by this time.
Sometimes when I got back from work also. I also started developing hair on my back and chest, and also on my stomach. I began to wonder if my brothers were this hairy!!!!! People were starting to make comments and it was really starting to hurt my already low self-esteem.
When i was 25 I moved to High Level, Alberta, where i am now and met a nice guy through a girl i worked with. We started dating and inevitablely i spent the night. The next morning I woke up, hoping to get to the bathroom before he woke up so I could shave. He was already awake. When he reached to touch my face, and give me a good morning kiss, I pulled away. He said “Whats wrong? Are you alright?”
I started to cry and said “Do you promise that you won’t laugh?” He looked at me with this puzzled look and said yes. So I took his had and placed it on my cheek and said “Feel that?” He looked right into my eyes and said “Krista, is that all that you are worried about?? I noticed that the first night I met you, and it doesn’t bother me.” i said “well it bothers me” It was then that he convinced me to see a doctor.
I went that week. I went on Metformin and Spirolactane for a while and they worked, I lost a bit of weight and the hair growth slowed down. I went through a year of depression, partly due to the pcos, and went on Epival which i later learned could possibly make pcos worse. When we started talking about having a baby I went off both, and planned to take Clomid to get pregnant. (I only have one period a year now) But now we have decided to get our first house first.
I have been lucky really, I am off meds and still managing to maintain my weight and have even lost a couple pounds, but it hasn’t been easy. But it definately would have been a whole lot harder to learn to love myself again if it wasn’t for my sweet man.
Pcos isn’t just an issue of fertility, it causes depression, low self-worth, and strips you of so many things that make a woman feminine.
Want to connect with me? My name is krista on the SoulCysters Message Board.