Well here goes, I’m good at writing things down, and I always feel better when I do.

When I was aorund 12 I got my first period, it was always the first four days of the month, light, no pain at all. I spent the next four to five years living this way, happy and content, although I hated my period and wished it would just go away. I could not have been more wrong.

I still remember when I missed my first period. It was January 2003. That was when everything changed. I didn’t have one in February either. Finally in March I had a period. I had no idea at the time that life was changed rapidly for me.

I started gaining weight. I don’t know how much I weighed at the time, I just know I wore a size 7/8 in December and by July I wore a size 12. I really have no idea how I gained that weight, or how I went from a 7 to a 12 without realizing it. I think it was a quick weight gain, I just remember waking up one day and realizing none of my clothes fit anymore.

The summer brought a lot of fun things, a boyfriend and a driver’s license to name a few. I didn’t miss another period until that Spring again, however my periods came when they wanted, I had one every month but they weren’t regular by any stretch. I tried to manage my cycle but it was out of control.

I went to Planned Parenthood in April of 2004 and mentioned it to them but they blew it off and put me on Ortho Trycycline Low. I hated this and didn’t use it but for one month. The resulting period was horrible and painful and I thought I was dieing. Looking back I know now why things were so bad but I didn’t know it at 18.

In Sept of 2004 I got very sick and ended up in bed, I got an infection in my lymphnodes that I have blamed a lot of things on that had no baring on them. I started missing preiods again and gaining weight, slowly but surely. By December/January I was in a 14. Life didn’t change but my body did! I didn’t have a period from April until September. During that time I ended up weighing 200lbs and wearing a size 18.

I started doing a lot of research and started realizing I had a lot of the PCOS symptoms. This was three years ago. I tried in December of 05 to get a gyn to talk to me about it, they blew me off. I lost my insurance and let it go, I didn’t think there was anything I could do.

In August of 06 I stopped having periods again and I gained a little bit more weight. I met the man who would later be my husband and told him very early on in the relationship all the problems that I have experienced. My periods were irregular, spotty at best for the most, then got heavy for like a month at a time.

I got insurance back and in August of 07 I went to another doctor (NP actually) and brought it up again, she said I was fine, didn’t want to delve into anything even though I told her all the symptoms and problems that I have had. I got on Nuva Ring and had the first period in months. Once again I thought I was dieing. I dealt with it and it got better. I gained some more weight (still in an 18 though!) and blamed it on the BC.

About a year ago I started thinking about PCOS again. I had self diagnosed but I know that’s a really bad idea and I didn’t want to do it. I had all the symptoms, I knew the drill. Over the winter I got the dark skin pathes on my arms, in very obvious places (I already had the dark under my breasts, knuckles, and oh the hair growth), and even on BC my periods were ir-regular.

May 10th of this year I was married and got insurance again through my husband. I started making appointments for doctors. I knew through my research I needed to see a Reproductive Endocrinologist and I started out by calling them. They wouldn’t talk to me unless I was already diagnosed and so I went to a GP. I explained everything to him and he seemed to be willing to work with me, gave me orders for blood work and suggested possibly I could be diabetic or have PCOS, but wasn’t willing to do anythign more until he had bloodwork back.

Well about a week later I got something from the insurance that said they wouldn’t pay the bill becuase they didn’t cover obesity claims. My words then were “I don’t need a doctor to tell me I’m fat!”. I felt out of place again and was in denial that something was wrong, maybe I was just obese.I called the doctor’s office and they wouldn’t change thier diagnosis and the labs were done under the same code so I coudln’t get them done either.

In July my husband lost his job and we lost our insurance. I am now at 210lbs and my hair started falling out, I was (am) pulling it out by the handful, I started having hot flashes, night sweats, you name it. I told my mother I felt like I was going through menopause. This is the heaviest I have ever been and I think that is why my symptoms are so bad right now.

I was supposed to have insurance start on the 1st of December. So I made an appointment with a Reproductive Endocrinologist for the 10th of December. I was leary but exicted to go. I wanted to know what was up. The thing that hit me the most was the hair loss. Thanksgiving this year my husband looks down at me and says “you probably shoudln’t have worn your hair like that, I can see bald spots” I started crying. He wasn’t trying to hurt, just help but it hurt pretty bad to know I had lost that much hair.

When I went to the appointment I explained everything and he traced the symptoms back to the age of 17. I wish I had known then what was wrong, I don’t know if things would be different now but it’s possible. He did an ultrasound and I was amazed at the size of my ovaries, they were so large and I could see all the follicles. I am now waiting on getting my insurance cards so I can get the blood work done, I want to know about IR as well, they said they could probably assume that I have IR since I have all the dark patches on my skin (groin, neck, breasts, and spots on my back).

The actual PCOS diagnosis has hit me somewhat hard. Although I have answers I feel alone, and as it has been said, less of a woman. I’ve been overweight for years now, but it hasn’t been an easy pill to swallow. I am thinking of starting the IR diet, I think it would be good for me. I want to loose some of this weight and try to feel better about myself.

I’m only 5 foot tall and clothing is a nightmare. I look about 7months pregnant, and that’s if I’m not bloated from whatever my body thinks it is doing. I should be starting my period any day now and I can then start Yaz. I also have a script for Spiro, and as I said waiting on the blood work for the rest.
Well that is my story, sorry it’s so long but eh, it’s life, what can I say.

Want to connect with me? My name is jedilynne on the SoulCysters Message Board.