Hey everyone. I joined about a month ago and forgot, so here I am. I read a few posts and feel glad that someone actually knows what PCOS is, because when I try to talk about it with my friends, they have never heard of it because they’re not freaks like ME. That’s what I feel like.

I’m 32. I first heard about PCOS in a magazine article, and immediately knew that I had it. The only thing that seems to be different for me is the fact that I’ve been getting my period Every. Other. Week. Yeah. Big fun, right? I’m buying packages of pads just about every time I go to the store! Can’t stand tampons. They’ve never been comfy. Anyway…

When I left my ex husband in 2004, I went on my own invented mixed diet of Atkins and vodka (ha) and lost about 40 lbs. I still weighed about 170, but fortunately I’ve always looked lighter than my actual weight. I always had more of an hourglass figure, you know? I was newly single and started going out and having fun and even if I had to stay at 170, that would have been fine with me because men seemed to find me attractive. Guess what? Gained it all back. No reason for that–I’m really not a huge eater.

I met a great guy and he settled me down. We’ve been together two and a half years and… we haven’t used any form of birth control for a long time. Sometimes we use condoms just for a new sensation. My period’s always been kinda wacky, but it was usually a week or two late. Past few months I’ve been getting it more and more often, and now I’m getting it constantly. We don’t have sex when I have my period, and since I absolutely ADORE sex, it’s getting depressing and frustrating. And it’s one thing to not really want kids all that much and to know that you CAN’T have kids.

I have a lot of facial hair–something my wretched ex husband actually hassled me about. He actually said one time, during a nasty fight, “Your hairy face couldn’t turn me on!” (Yeah, that’s why he’s still begging for me to come back, right? He felt pretty stupid when I told him it’s a result of this PCOS thing and I’m SO sorry I wasn’t up to extensive hair removal treatments every day of the danged week).

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I also have bad acne on my back, which I figured I inherited from my dad, but after reading some of the stories here, maybe it’s the PCOS too. Also started breaking out on my chest a few years ago. I see all these cuuuute summer tops and I can’t wear them because of my skin.

I think my best feature is my hair. It’s dark and naturally wavy-curly and the guys raved about it, and I’m afraid it’s going to start thinning. My doctor says she doesn’t see any evidence of that happening, and I hope that remains the case. One of my other top five features (I really don’t have many, so please let me have my moment, lol) are my breasts. D cup. But! Since I have breast cancer on both sides of the family and including my mom, I figure I’ll lose those in a few years as well.

I’ve had enough and told my doctor so. She doesn’t know much about PCOS but referred me to a gynecologist. I absolutely refuse to see a male gyno. Bad enough I cried when my female doc gave me a pelvic exam for the first time. There are only two females on my insurance list and only one with an American-sounding name. I’m sorry, I’ve just not had good experiences with foreign doctors, unfortunately. She wants me to go and have all this blood work done and get a pelvic/transvaginal ultrasound. I’m PETRIFIED.

I am so shy it’s not even funny. I don’t want anyone sticking something in me. But I guess if I want to get healthy, I have to. I also asked her for glucophage, and I’ll start that sometime this week, whenever I’m in the mood for an upset stomach.

Anyone here had a transvaginal ultrasound? How horrible is it? I hope this gynecologist will be able to treat me. Guess it’s back to eating low carb. Oh, joy. No more chocolate. No more ice cream. No more White Russians…

It’s just not FAIR! I’m sick of hearing how it’s ’cause “you’re overweight.” Well, I see plenty of larger women dragging around a half dozen kids, and I don’t see hair on their faces and apparently they didn’t have any trouble conceiving. And all the skinny people I know…they eat what they want and when I ask if they work out, they say, “Nope! Just lucky!” Ugh.

The only thing I have going for me is my boyfriend.

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He’s the sweetest southern boy you’d ever hope to meet. I feel bad that he has to weather my mood swings and my constant periods and my hysteria whenever I can’t take these symptoms anymore.

Someone please let me know about the transvaginal ultrasound thingy…I’m going to keep reading and hope to get to know some of you. Everyone seems so nice…

Want to connect with me? My name is SusieVandal on the SoulCysters Message Board.