Ok Here goes my story:

I was always a little plump nothing huge, I am 5 for 7 and 3/4 (just measures at the doctor yesterday and I think that the 3/4 is important LOL) and I weighed about 150 to 160 for most of my life. I was a binge eater though. I could not help myself. I was addicted. I would eat and eat.

I jumped to 190 still for my frame it was not that bad, I knew that I was overweight. then all of a sudden in just a little time about the age of 19-20 I jumped to 260-270. I was devistated. I could not take the weight off. I tried but nothing would work.

I realized that I was a binge eater. I was in school full time and not eating healthy but I did try to watch what I ate. I kept hearing that in order to maintain my size I would have to eat 3500 or more calories a day. I kept well under that. I started eating lots of fruit and veggies, I would carry my lunch to school with me, not an easy task since I was there all day long.

I was getting married and i desperatly wanted to lose weight. I would diet and I was exercising twice a week. I knew that I should do more but my schedule was tight. I thought that twice per week was better than none. Nothing. I hated myself. Until one day out of desperation my DF (DH now) brought home a book. Jenean (sp?) Roth, When You Eat at the Refrigerator Pull Up a Chair I saw myself in the book, and i was finally able to laugh and accept myself more.

I finished school. I got a job and lots of really crappy things were happening in my life. I sarted working an hour away from my home. The one good thing from this time is that I married DH.

Finally I realized that I needed help with my emotional eating. I realized what I was doing, and I could stop myself, but why was I doing it. I got help. I got it under ccontrol. I started a diabetic diet and stuck to it. I was eating 1200-1500 calories and day and 40-50 grams of fat. NOTHING.

I was killing myself. I actually gained weight during this time. I did not know what to do. I ballooned up even more. (I can’t even say it) I was depressed and hating myself. Finally I just realized that I was doomed. Then the worst thing started to happen. My hair started to fall out. Rapidly. It was terrible. That was in June of 2001.

I was on the pill for severe periods. My periods started to act all wonky. I did not know what was going on. I thought maybe my thyroid? I had no idea. So I made an appointment with my general practitioner. He ran blood tests and said that it was nothing probably stress. (Let’s talk about stress. I got a degree in chemical engineering, the fourth year was stress, long hours constant homework, pressure to do well, that is stress, my life at the moment I was told it was stress NOTHING compaired to school)

I would not accept that SO I made an appointment with “the best” endo in the city. It took months to get. So I thought that I would go see a dermatologist to make sure that nothing else was wrong. She is the first one that mentioned PCOS. I had no idea what that meant. She did not explain it. She also said that more than likely it was my bc pill. I should go off of it. Well if she had the periods that I had had pre-pill she would have understood why I was reluctant to do that.

SO I went to my OB/GYN told her about the PCOS and she said “No way, you have regualr periods” I was like OK what about the pill she said that since I had been on it for over a year before it started falling out that that would not be it.

Next to “the best” endo in the city. She told me that it was not my thyroid. And that it was IR with PCOS, my triglycerides were high. THen she proceeded to tell me that she did not have a magic pill to make me thin. If she did then she would not be overweight herself. I told her firmly that i had learned to accept my body but that I did not want to be the fat and bald woman. She again told me that there was no magic pill. If I was fat it was my fault. I was so frustrated with her. They ran tests she never followed up. The one good thing about this was surgar busters. She told me about surgar busters.

I started surgar busters soon after the appointment. My DH who is a meat and potatoes man was relucant, but knowing what i was going through decided to try it with me. It was slow but for the first time in my life I have lost weight. It was a miracle. I am down below where I was when we got married. I hover between 250-255.

It took me several months to get over the shock of the doctors appointment. My hair was still coming out in clumps. I was losing weight, but it was slow. Then my sister was dx with hodgkins lymphoma. Everything went on the back burner. But it taught me a valuable lesson. If she could fight her cancer then I could fight this. I was not going to take this laying down. Surely there was something that someone could do.

I was gun shy of doctors. I could not handle another appointment like that one. I thought that there was no treatment anyway. No “magic” pill, meant no pill at all to help. just the surgar busters. Finally I decided to do what any red blooded american woman with a DSL line will do: I got on the internet.

I found soulcysters. It was such a blessing. I became addicted at once. I found myself in so many of the women, and the articles that Kat posted were wonderful. I realized that the weight was not my fault. It was the carbs, and that I could get help. I finally from all of the support of the wonderful women here went to the doctor to find an endo that might help me. I went in prepared for a fight. He laughed at me. Said that he liked fiesty people and then preceded to FLOOR me with his knowledge of PCOS.

He actually KNEW about it agreed that I had it and that I needed help. He gave me two endos that he thogut would be the best.

I made an appointmet. I have been waiting to write this to see how it went. The endo was wonderful, she gave me a script for gluc XR. I am thrilled. I am full of hope that I can now get this under control. To date with just diet and exercise I have lost a total of over 30 pounds. I work out at leat 3 days a week. I enjoy tai chi. My hair is still falling out, but at least now I have meds that might help, and I know hte demon that I am fighting.

I realize that this is something that i will have to control for the rest of my life. I understand the consequences of this syndrome, that is why I called the title of this thread the end of the begining. I know what I have, but it is just the begining.

Thanks to Kat and to all of the cycsters here that have shared their stories. I could not have done it without you. THe support here is overwhelming. I am finally taking control of my life.

Thanks for reading this terribly long post,

On a side note, I have before and after pictures of the wieght loss. I can barely look at the old ones.

Want to connect with me? My name is kumahahci on the SoulCysters Message Board.